You Need a Carnival Season Strategy
A parenting survival guide + a list of every upcoming carnival. Happy Monday.
This post is part of my “Ask An Expert” series, which features locals with a niche expertise. What’s yours? Email me at kaylakaplowitz@substack.com with your idea. Anyone who contributes a good recommendation gets a free 3-month Premium membership. 🙌
FUNNEL CAKES, COASTERS AND CROWDS. OH MY.
Parenting at a carnival: A refresher
All the hard data and advice you need before you go.
Here at The Plan, I’m committed to serving up iron-clad, peer-reviewed, double-blind-study-validated insights about family-friendly things to do around us.
Let’s tackle carnivals today, shall we?
Ah, the smell of funnel cakes and diesel gas. The glow of the ferris wheel at dusk. The nostalgia. What could possibly go wrong? If you’re not adequately prepared, a lot.
For this week’s Ask an Expert column, I reached out to a handful of parents I’ve personally seen at a local carnival, or have responded to my public call on Substack. Here’s what I found.
The data shows us that the less you prepare for a carnival, the more parental stressors you'll likely face. So, how do you combat this? Here’s some advice.
Be strategic about which ones you go to.
To avoid carnival burnout, be selective. We typically bookend the summer with the St. Patrick’s Carnival in Bedford in May and the South Salem Fire Department Carnival in August. Kristen Payne, Cross River mom of two elementary school-aged kids, agrees. “We do one carnival a year! No more, please and thank you.”
Have an exit plan.
Before you head out to the carnival, look in the mirror and ask yourself: "Am I a carnival person?” If the answer is yes, then get an unlimited ride wristband for your kids. If the answer is no, then just buy a finite amount of ride tickets.
The benefit of tickets is that you’ll save a few bucks, and it puts an end to the night. (i.e., “Looks like we’re out of tickets! Time to go home.”)
Cory Shrider, dad of three and the writer behind the always hilarious Substack Dad on the Rocks takes the ticketing strategy a step further: “Tell your kid ahead of time how many tickets they get. And stick to it like it’s a legally-binding contract.”
Go on an OFF day.
One way to avoid huge crowds (and lines) is to go on a weekday night. If you do choose a Saturday, know that you’ll likely see an increase of teenage PDA in the ride lines as the night wears on. No judgement; let them live. Just a heads up.
Know where all the carnivals are this summer.
If you don’t plan on going to that weekend’s carnival, for the love of all that’s holy, avoid driving by the carnival grounds that week. If it’s just not in the cards that weekend, you won’t hear the end of it.
HOT TIP: Premium members can see all upcoming local carnivals in The Plan calendar, right in their Google or Apple Calendar. Get subscriber access for just $5/m.
Eat dinner beforehand.
Sure, some carnivals have pretty good food options. I know volunteers at the South Salem Fire Department Carnival, for example, grill up decent burgers and hot dogs. But my advice is to eat dinner before you go so you don’t have to beg your kids to stop and fill their bellies with a few bites of an overpriced slice.
Tag team with friends.
If you want to take a break in the food/beverage tent to hang with other parent friends, plan to take turns “tapping in” for 30-min increments. That way, you can share responsibility for who’s got eyes on the kids.
Or, you know, you could just give up on that notion all together.
Payne, now a veteran carnival goer, warned me: “If you want to keep track of your kids, don’t plan on spending any time with the parents/friends you arrived with.” Carnivals may not be the best setting for community-building. It’s every man for himself out there.
Don’t say yes to the sand art.
I get that most of these events are for a good cause, but don’t succumb to the pressures of sand art and other crap that you’ll be throwing out in a playroom purge rage weeks later.
Dad on the Rocks agrees. “Mentally prep for the moment you say, ‘No, we’re not getting that light-up sword,’ 57 times.” Also: “If it glows, spins, or makes noise,” he warns, “assume it’s $18 and lasts six minutes.”
Wear bright colors.
Leave the beige and black at home. Bright colors make it easier to spot your kid in a crowd. And if you do lose your kid, DON’T run around calling their name. Here’s why:
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